GOD'S UNDERGROUND FREQUENCY TERMINAL: -[]ype

Thursday, June 16, 2011

-[]ype - Aboard

The infamous orbital-glider -[]ype is hovering through the black board of the cosmos - coming back from an important and dangerous mission on Planet Zuul. It´s time to get back home now, the crew is making the last preparations...

[Captain Cosmotic]: Is everything all right with the plasma-impetus-batons, Mr. Zudnikk?
[Navigator Zudnikk]: Sir, yes, Sir! They got the right temperature!
[Captain Cosmotic]: Superb, my friend. Isn´t it great to travel through the wide, wonderful space? What a lovely day. And look at the Saggitarius-surfers at the left. I was like them, when I was young...
[Navigator Zudnikk]: We will reach Base number 64 in some minutes, Sir.
[Navigator Zamal]: In exactly 5 minutes!
[Navigator Zudnikk]: Fuck, yeah, in 5 Minutes...
[Captain Cosmotic]: Perfect, my glorious comrades!
[Commander Hobor]: We´ve passed the checkpoint, Captain. All systems are scanned, everything is fine. Hyperholopads at Level 2. Taking course on C G X H B M. Everything´s fine, Sir.
[Captain Cosmotic]: ...Fine like a tasty, dizzy drink at Smiffy´s Star Maidens! Can´t we visit this lovely pub before we trigger our base?
[Commander Hobor]: Erm, no Sir. The Council Of The Seven Sunbursts Of Chutul is waiting for our cargo. That´s important, Captain.
[Captain Cosmotic]: How boring!

[Repairman Rusty]: CAPTAIN! CAPTAIN!!!
[Captain Cosmotic]: What the hell? Yeah? What´s going on, Rusty?
[Repairman Rusty]: There is some obscure, horrible creature in the storage room!
[Captain Cosmotic]: ...and your mother is Jabba Tha Hutt. Don´t fool me, boy!
[Lieutenant Lippo]: PARANORMAL ACTIVITY IN SECTOR 0.45!
[Captain Cosmotic]: WHAT?!
[Repairman Rusty]: FAST! FAST! GET YOUR GUNS!
[Captain Cosmotic]: Let´s go, comrades. We will blast this alien-ass out of our gorgeous galaxy.

*bang* *bang* *bang*

[Unkown Entity]: Wuahhahaa!
[Commander Hobor]: We can´t damage this awful, transparent beast!
[Captain Cosmotic]: And it can´t damage us, right, Commander?
[Lieutenant Lippo]: It seems so!
[Unkown Entity]: D4mn, Hum4n5... 1 w1ll s3nd u 2 h3ll...
[Captain Cosmotic]: WHAT?!
[Unkown Entity]: H4ck. H4ck. H4ck.
[Commander Hobor]: What is this damn ghost talking about?
[Lieutenant Lippo]: Oh no... it´s some of the virtual ticks from Planet Schultukk, I think!!!
[Captain Cosmotic]: That means...?
[Lieutenant Lippo]: He will dock on our board-computer and will create massive chaos.
[Unkown Entity]: H4444CK. H4444CK!
[Captain Cosmotic]: Can´t we call the fuckin Ghostbusters?
[Lieutenant Lippo]: They are on vacation for some days, Sir.
[Captain Cosmotic]: Ah... all right.

[Navigator Zudnikk]: He is eating our data!
[Captain Cosmotic]: I want to eat some Slime-Burgers at McCybernaut.
[Navigator Zudnikk]: That is not funny, Captain. There is a chance of fatal damage. If he destroys our control-system, we are lost.
[Navigator Zamal]: We are now at the peak of the orbit´s iceberg, Captain. If we are plunge down now, we will get smashed on some planet like a dirty ball of intergalactic trash, Sir.
[Captain Cosmotic]: Oh, nice.
[Navigator Zamal]: There! There! He is really hacking the control-mechanisms!
[Navigator Zudnikk]: Holy hell!

*Shhh* *Shhh* *Shhh*

[Navigator Zamal]: Captain, we are falling!
[Navigator Zudnikk]: WE ARE FALLING!!!!
[Navigator Zamal]: Entering Earth´s atmosphere in 10 seconds...
[Navigator Zudnikk]: 9 seconds...
[Navigator Zamal]: 8 seconds...
[Lieutenant Lippo]: WE ARE GOING TO DIE. DON´T COUNT A COUNTDOWN, MORONS!
[Navigator Zudnikk]: 7 seconds...
[Captain Cosmotic]: We are entering what?
[Navigator Zudnikk]: The Earth´s atmosphere, Captain!
[Captain Cosmotic]: The earth?
[Navigator Zamal]: 4 seconds...
[Navigator Zudnikk]: Yes, Sir.
[Captain Cosmotic]: Please not the Earth! Only dumb-asses are living there! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO....
[Navigator Zamal]: 1 second...

THE END

1/1 Millenium Falcon for this crazy, fast space-trip through the dimension of squeezed NES-circuits. I salute you, Captain Timothy Doerr!